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Pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl

Pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl

Pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl is a pros and cons list based on my own experience. I’ve been dating several Japanese girls of all ages and being in a long term relationship with one of them. You came here to make up your mind since you are insecure of whether you want to date a Japanese girl or not. The advice Tim Ferriss would’ve most likely given you in this situation would be “Hell yeah or no”. This means he would tell you to call it off if you’re not 100% sure that you want to date a Japanese girl. Luckily for you, I’m not Tim. My job is to give you what you came for and I’ll give you my list of pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl below.


It’s comfortable

Your relationship will be very comfortable and easy. She will most likely feel satisfied with following day to day routines. Being with you might be enough for her. You can feel at ease and never have to try too hard to make her like you. Being appreciated and touched is all she wishes for, At least for a while….

She’s loyal

In Japan it’s almost considered cheating by many to even talk to another man or woman. They are very strict on their monogamy and she wouldn’t even dream of having an affair or get to close to a guy friend. You can even trust her to have Tinder installed without anything ever happening. If you value loyalty then a Japanese girl might be right for you.

She’s very agreeable

Japanese girls are very easy to deal with since they are very agreeable. Which among all the pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl this one is definitely one of the main pros. She wouldn’t dream of telling you no. Sometimes she would even agree to things you wouldn’t even dream of a westerner doing for you. Always having it your way with girls and in a relationship feels amazing. At least for a while…


She will make food for you, clean for you, take care of you when you feel bad. Sometimes even help you with the most simple tasks. This can be a very pleasurable experience that will make you feel appreciated. If you don’t like cooking and doing the laundry this might be right for you. I mean who wouldn’t like someone to take care of all the boring things?

Great Sex

If you’ve ever watched Japanese adult videos you already know what I’m talking about. There is a huge contrast between the genders in Japanese culture. This becomes very clear in the bedroom. The Japanese girls tend to encourage you to dominate them. One person being submissive and the other dominant is a turn-on for many of us. And also one of the most natural ways to spike sexual tension. The sex is also one of the major pros from the pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl.


She’s most likely stupid

In my experience Japanese girls seem to lack the ability to think in a problem solving way. I’ve found myself having to explain how to do things over and over because it seems as if she could not think for herself. Many times I’ve thought “God, she’s stupid” when talking to Japanese girls, especially of the younger type. This is not true for every Japanese girl but I’ve found it to be a norm rather than an outlier.

She’s boring

In many ways the Japanese society encourages busywork. They stay at school or work for what might seem like an inhumane amount of time every day. Even if there’s nothing to do at work they have to stay for a certain amount of time. Aside from this they also often work overtime. It’s also common having to go drink with their colleagues several times every month. Over the long term this allows for no free time what so ever thus hobbies are non-existent. Having nothing going on in your life aside from work, food and sleep will construct a boring personality in western standards.

She’s delusional

She has a vision of her future as a married woman. Living abroad and having a super cute half-asian little baby. Not having to work but enjoying the amazing life abroad. I’ve found this to be the case for most Japanese girls who wants to date a foreigner. They all have this romanticised idea of how amazing life is abroad. Or how happy they will be if they can only manage to get married. You are a smart person so you see the problem with this don’t you? Thinking that you will be happy after getting married, moving abroad or anything else for that matter is being very delusional. Anything new you try, anywhere new you move will revert to routine patterns. Then you will find yourself as unhappy as you were before. Because happiness and change has to start from inside.


Talking about pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl without mentioning Motherlike on both sides of the argument wouldn’t be doing it justice. Though there are many benefits of having a very motherlike girlfriend that will do anything for you. it will handicap you. What I mean is that if you never have to do the hard things yourself it will damage your discipline as well as willpower and motivation. You will become more and more lazy. And she might get tired of doing everything for you. Or she might start seeing you as a big kid… And who would want to have a sexual relationship with a big kid?

From your perspective she might even start seeming more and more like a mother. Which in the same way will make you less and less attracted to her. Your relationship will become more and more sexless. Without opposition there is no sexual tension. Thus it might be better having a girlfriend screaming at you to take out the trash. Would you rather have someone scream at you or never have sex?


This part of the pros and cons of dating a Japanese girl is something I could discuss for hours and hours. But I will keep it short this time, but leave a comment below if you want to hear more about it and I’ll make a whole post about it.

To explain what Tatemae is I have to start by breaking down the Kanji’s. 建 Symbolises building something and 前 means before or in front of. The image we are getting at is someone building a wall in front of themselves. This is the Japanese equal of the facade we put on infront of people we want to impress. What makes this a con is that the Japanese people always put on this facade. And when I say always I mean everyday at all times towards everyone.
There is a certain way you should behave in the Japanese society. Rather than “Be yourself” the Japanese would say “Be like everyone else”. We can summarise it like this, it creates a generic fake personality that everyone has. and I do mean everyone. Lying about your true feelings and opinions is the norm they all live by.

What makes this a real problem is that you will never know what she is actually feeling and thinking. You will fall in love with this amazing, always nice, always happy person. Until you’ve already gotten too close and found yourself enslaved by her charm. Only to find out that she is not the person you thought she was. Not even a little bit, she might even hate the person she’s been pretending to be.

I’ll let you think about this and leave you with one final piece of advice. Don’t get married before you see her real personality.

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