Personal development

how to stop being a simp

how to stop being a simp

how to stop being a simp? Since the concept of being a simp appeared all over the internet recently. I bet many of you have wondered what a simp is and whether you belong in this category. A simp means someone who puts women on a pedestal and worships them in some way. Protecting them against other men. Saving them from harm or letting women get their way in general. My understanding is that they do this because they want to get laid. But to be frank, letting the woman lead will rarely get you anywhere outside of the friendzone. So you wish to get laid? Then how to stop being a simp?

Being a simp does not mean you will be simping for the rest of your life. I say simping because rather than being a type of person, simping is a behaviour we all have. It’s the moments when you like someone and thus tend to want to give them everything they want. When someone is not into you so you feel like you should chase after them. We’ve all been acting in this way at one point in our lives. So rather than how to stop being a simp, we should ask how to stop simping?

The simple answer is to become an alpha male. But that might sound difficult unless you know the traits you need to develop to become one. so let’s start there. Then we can move on to building your self-value. Because if you feel like you don’t deserve better than being a simp, there’s no way you will change.

Alpha traits

There are a couple of important traits that you need for women to view you as an alpha. So how to stop being a simp begins with developing some of these traits. First you need to be assertive, this is the trait that is often seen in the douchebag. It’s the reason that nice guys finish last. That doesn’t have to be the case, we will have to reframe the way you view being nice. Being nice is a good thing as long as you can also stand up for what you believe in. Secondly, confidence, this one is rather obvious. And finally stoic. By stoic I mean that you got to stop caring about the small things. No one looks up to a person that panics over every little thing. And to be a leader, which is part of the alpha role. You must be able to bring calm into a tense or extreme situation. During high stress situations, people will look for help in the calmest person. You want to become that person people are drawn to for help and comfort in tough times.


What exactly is assertiveness and how does it relate to the question of how to stop being a simp?
Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself and your opinion even if it might affect others. Often times this trait comes from confidence or self-esteem. Other times it comes naturally. And many times it doesn’t come att all. So you will need to train this muscle of assertiveness. Do this by displaying your opinion and standing up for yourself.

When someone says something you disagree with, tell them you disagree. When someone tells you to do something you don’t want to do, let them know. And this should not be affected by whether they are a cute girl or not. The girl might like you if you agree with her. But to create any romantic or sexual tension you must create polarity.


Confidence can often come from self-esteem or self-value. Other times it comes from experience. When doing something you’ve done many times before you feel confident don’t you?. While doing something for the first time on the other hand, you don’t feel very confident. In other words, to develop confidence, build yourself up and practice the things you wish to have confidence at.

So why is confidence important in how to stop being a simp? A prerequisite for being assertive is confidence. If you sound scared and nervous when telling someone no or sharing your opinion, your words and body don’t align. Since words are only a small part of human interaction, you must make sure you speak with your body, tone of voice. Not only with words.


Stoicism is an old greek philosophy that can be summarised with the old saying, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And by stronger in this context means caring less about small things. When you’ve had bad experiences or a near death experience, the taste of your breakfast doesn’t matter as much as it used to. So why does being stoic have anything to do with how to stop being a simp?

Being stoic means that you can stay calm under high pressure situations because you don’t care as much about the outcome. This is because objectively, whether this girl likes you or not doesn’t matter because there are many more girls out there. And many more opportunities to talk to women will present themselves in the future. Failing this one out of a hundred times won’t make a big difference.

By not caring about the outcome you will be more liked than if you always try to be liked. This is a very interesting paradox. By trying to be liked, people will sense your desperation and create distance between you two. Instead by mercilessly being yourself, you will attract more people. This also relates to being assertive, since if you care less what people think, you will be more assertive.


If I had to name one thing that can help you in how to stop being a simp, it would be self-value. By giving yourself higher value than women, you will handle these other tasks with simplicity. To paraphrase Tim Ferris, self-esteem is your reputation with yourself. In other words, whenever you do what you know is right or good for you, your reputation increases. While every time you know you should go to the gym but you slack off, your reputation decreases. Building yourself up means doing the hard things that you know are right for you. While quitting the bad habits that you know you should quit. I go more in depth into this topic here if you wish to read further. But for this post a simple explanation seems adequate.

Good luck in your quest on how to stop being a simp!


A person that i like more than a friend has a birthday coming up… I don’t usually write songs, but they do. I wanted to do something for them that they would like as a gift. So I wrote them a song basically as a parody of Hey there Delilah. Is this considered being a simp? I don’t want to be a simp but this seems to fall under the category of being a simp for someone. Please help.

Hello Bella,
Whether this is considered simping or not shouldn’t worry you if it’s something you really want to do.
Staying true to oneself is sometimes more important than worrying about how you are being perceived by the world around you.
I have a strict no birthday gifts policy, therefore i would never consider doing something like this but I believe the person you are talking about will be very happy about it. Whether it makes you a simp or not, just do whatever you want to do and try to learn from the experience afterwards.

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