how to control your emotions in a long distance relationship
Having a long distance relationship can be both one of the most beautiful things you will live through. As well as one of the most horrible challenging experiences of your life. But one thing is for sure! When it comes to the discovery of yourself. Pushing your limits and developing a greater depth of self awareness, it’s one of the most powerful ways.
From my experience controlling your emotions is the hardest part of being in a long distance relationship. The most common feelings I felt were helplessness and loneliness. The knowledge that if she would be to meet another guy, you won’t be able to do anything about it. She could stop replying and you would be left alone and helpless. Before I go into how to control your emotions in a long distance relationship. I want to share a short piece of my experience with you.
I spent about a year in Japan where I met an amazing woman. It was the first time in years where I couldn’t think of anyone else, especially when we were apart. After living with each other for about 6 months I had to go back to Sweden again. This was devastating but we were both certain we could make it work. And we did, For almost one and a half years we had a long distance relationship. We met on about three occasions during this time and spoke on a daily basis. It wasn’t that difficult being with someone on the other side of the world. The thirst for sleeping with other women was quenched by a whole lot of porn and masturbation. The loneliness wasn’t that hard to deal with either, I had a lot of friends and lived with a room mate at the time. What was difficult for me to deal with was the lack of control, the feeling of being helpless. There was nothing I could do, I was just a pawn waiting for someone else to decide my faith.
So how to control your emotions in a long distance relationship? I can’t help you with every emotion there is. I did manage to deal with some of the most difficult severe ones tho.
how to control your emotions in a long distance relationship of helplessness?
I would first of all find something to control. Because we all have a need for being in control in some way. Start a project or a business. Host an event or something where you feel like your actions are what decides the results. This will let you feel in control of something so that when feeling helpless. At least you know it’s only your relationship. In other fields you are in control.
What is also important is to look within yourself and ask why? Why am I feeling helpless, what has to happen for me to stop feeling helpless? And similar questions. Because many times you already have all the answers. You just need to start asking the right questions. Other times all you can do is cry in the shower and wait for the emotions to pass. Knowing they will pass is also helpful. Accepting that you do feel bad at times.
how to control your emotions in a long distance relationship of loneliness?
The short answer is: Porn and friends. A lot of porn and many friends. But even through that I still felt lonely at times, and so will you. Because it’s not that you are lonely, it’s that you are missing the one person you want to be with the most.
To counteract this terrible feeling one must look at what one already has. In other words, It’s hard to feel lonely and empty inside when you are too busy appreciating everyone around you. When you are loving your friends and family for being there. Even when you are appreciative of the fact that you do actually have a girlfriend. Even though she’s on the other side of the globe, it’s still better than not having one. And you being special enough for her to travel for hours to see you. Isn’t that wonderful and you should be grateful for her.
How to control your emotions of in a long distance relationship is often about seeing that your life without her is not that bad. It’s actually awesome. Being with her is even better, but that doesn’t mean that it sucks without her. There’s something you should be thankful for that you aren’t. Something that would make your life great if you opened your eyes and saw it.