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Good dating body language

Good dating body language

A good dating body language is important to build rapport and escalate the situation. Before I explain what a good dating body language is, it’s important to touch on the basic steps of a date. If you think of a date as a game with different levels.  It’s easier to know at which level a certain type of conversation and body language is accurate. To score it will often need you to finish all levels and failing a level might mean you have to return to previous ones. 

The first level is the introduction step. Followed by the digging step. Then the bonding step followed by physical escalation and finally the tension level. These levels and steps might vary depending on the person you are with. Looking at it like different levels might help you get a better understanding of what a good dating body language looks like. 


The introduction level is a pretty simple one of which you already have some experience. Since this is often the same every time you meet a new person. What’s a good dating body language in this step is often the same no matter who you meet. Seeming confident and secure with your self is the goal with this step. This can be achieved by maintaining a good posture by standing straight with your shoulders back and moving slowly. When looking somewhere or moving your hands. Make sure you do this in a slower pace than normally. This will make you seem very confident.

The conversation in this step is often very basic. This involves sharing names and occupations with each other and general small talk. 


The digging level as I call it is not as much about good dating body language as it is about conversation. This level and the bonding level can often float together into one. The difference is that the digging level is about finding out things about the person. And digging deeper into their interests, Personality. At this stage you want to maintain a confident general body language. But focus a bit more on eye contact. You will also want to implement some slight touching like a gentle pat on their shoulder when you agree with something they said. Or taking their hand as you ask something about their nail polish. 

The conversation in this stage is all about playing sherlock. Your goal is to find out what they are interested in, ask questions about their fashion, their values and beliefs or things they like. You want to spend time figuring out who they are and dig deeper to find out what you can use in the next step. 


In the bonding step you want to keep doing what you were in the digging step and often times you will keep going back and forth between these stages. A good dating body language for this stage is like the one of the previous stage. You want to move slowly, introduce some gentle touching as you would with a close friend. Make sure you don’t apply too much pressure. The goal is for the other person to feel comfortable with being touched by you, so make sure it’s very friendly innocent touching. 

When bonding you will often times talk about similarities between the two of you. Talk about things you have in common. Agree with some of their opinions but don’t blindly agree. If you disagree make sure you let them know but rather than arguing about it, ask them why they think the way they do. You want to make the other person feel like you are listening to and caring about what they are saying. 

The goal of this level is not only the good dating body language itself. But rather developing some basic rapport and getting closer to the other person. 

Physical escalation

The Psysical escalation level is where a good dating body language is the most important. This is something you will do while still maintaining eye contact and keeping up with the conversation. So it will require some practice but is one of the most important steps. If you can’t nail this and next step it will be hard to not get stuck in the friend zone. 

What you want to do here is maintain eye contact while you escalate your touching and making it more and more intimate. A good order could be something like:. Touching their shoulder, arm and hand, hair, waist, legs, gently stroking any of the above parts and finally their face and neck. 

The point here is not to seem sexual but rather to make the idea of you touching them more familiar. You will still be touching with a very friendly vibe while still maintaining the same style of conversation and eye contact. The next step is where a good dating body language is even more important.


You want to build sexual tension to be able to escalate past a friendly touch. There are several ways you can do this. Either through conversation, tone of voice, touch or a good dating body language. 

What you want to do here is slow down your pace of speaking. While talking with a lower voice and about more intimate subjects. You also want to slow down the pace of your movements even more. The goal here is to slow down time to create space for her to think and feel instead of speaking. Taking long breaks between words in a sentence as well as silence with eye contact can be useful tools here. You also want to keep escalating your touching as well in this step. For a good dating body language to work out in your favour you should not touch her in an intimate place yet. 

The touch you are aiming for is something in the lines of stroking her neck and jawline. Putting her hair behind her ear and then finally becoming silent as you grab the back of her head. While looking deep into her eyes and then going in for the kiss. 

If it doesn’t work out exactly this way, don’t fret. Often times you might need to go back a couple steps and start over. There might even be cases when she is not interested but don’t take it as a loss, interpret it as practice. 

After kissing you can keep building tension in the same way. By touching her in more intimate places. Keeping up the slow pace as you start speaking about more intimate subjects. Such as sexual experiences or future relationship goals. You might even ask if she wants to go somewhere more private. If you’ve ever been with a girl before I assume you know what the step after that would be. 

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