Teaching strategies to build self esteem
Before we jump right into teaching Self-Esteem, Let’s talk about what self-esteem is and how we can build it. One great metaphor that I’ve heard is that “self-esteem is like your reputation with yourself”. Another one is “The immune system of your thoughts”.
So what does self-esteem do for us then? One of my favourite changes that I saw after transforming my self-esteem was. Since I valued myself higher, since I believed that I was worthy of nothing less than the best. I started raising my standards, which got me to another level in my personal development. Quitting bad habits was easier. And I developed a different level of confidence when facing new challenging situations. I didn’t beat myself up after a loss or failure anymore. Because I now knew that, giving 100% is the best I can do, and as long as I’ve done my best I should be proud of myself.
And don’t worry about teaching strategies to build self esteem to your friends just yet. We will get there keep reading.
The main key to building self-esteem to be integrity. Living in line with your values. for example if you’ve promised yourself that you will never smoke cigarettes again. And then you pick up a smoke as soon as two hours later. Then how do you imagine that you could ever trust yourself again?
Achieving a high level of self-esteem will allow us to with ease:
- Give up bad habits
- Start new good habits
- Make the right choice in tough situations
- Develop confidence
- Raise our standards and start achieving greater things
- Like ourselves
- Develop our self-discipline and motivate ourselves
- Get people to like us (Girls too)
We could go on with this list all day but you get the point.
I will assume that from reading this you get an idea of how important developing a healthy or high level of self-esteem is. And already have an urge to start moving forwards in this area of your life. And teaching strategies to build self esteem is one of the nicest things you can give someone. Great! Now that we’re done with why you need a high self-esteem then let’s move on to the how.
Let’s start with how you are treating yourself. It’s more common than one can think to bash on oneself for making mistakes. Having a bad day or being lesser than someone else. We tend to compare ourselves with others. Instead of appreciating that we have been progressing these last 5 years for example. We all know what effects bullying or being treated like a lesser by a boss or a colleague does to us. But we never think of the consequence of treating ourselves as lesser than others.
Let’s get to how you can treat yourself better. Start with looking at how you are treating your best friend vs how are you treating yourself? What would you say to your best friend after he’s made a mistake or performed lesser than usual?
Definitely not “You suck, why didn’t you do better than that?” So why would you say anything like that to yourself?
Start identifying how you are treating yourself. The more you get aware of your behaviour the easier it is going to be to change it. Awareness in it self can some times fix the problem. And as with anything else. The first step to changing a behaviour is to break your current pattern. Try catching yourself as soon as you are being mean to yourself. Because the more you break that pattern the weaker it gets.
To simplify this:
- Write down 10 things that you say or do to yourself that you would NEVER say or do to a best friend.
- Instead of these 10, now write more empowering things you could say or do in the same situations.
- Keep this list where you can see it. the purpose of this is to increase your awareness of this poisonous behaviour. Since changing something you are not aware of is Difficult.
The next step is to see what rules you are breaking. And I’m not talking about the law here, I don’t care if you would be breaking the law either, that’s none of my business. Instead I’m talking about the rules which you have created by and for yourself. Your judgement of what is good and what is bad. We all have a different perception of what is good and what is bad. and whatever yours might be that is fine by me, we are all different.
The thing is, when you break your own rules, you slaughter your self-esteem. So make this clear when teaching strategies to build self esteem. To clarify even further since this is super IMPORTANT. When you do anything that you perceive as being bad. That is whenever you do anything that you know you shouldn’t do. You associate yourself with being bad or doing the wrong thing. And you don’t love the villain in movies and neither do most people. so how can you allow yourself to turn into the villain in your own eyes? This has to stop, every time you break your rules you turn more and more into a Sith Lord and will eventually have to buy a red Lightsaber. Which would be rather expensive so let’s avoid that all together and join the good guys again.
So then, how do you get Yoda on your team again? Start with finding where you are making the wrong turns. And change that by committing to never again letting the dark side win against you. If you want to be the hero, the main character of the movie then you must summon your strength and become the person that can make the right decision. no matter what.
You can do this by trusting your gut feeling. When something feels wrong, when you start getting this weird feeling in your stomach. almost like a stone trying to clog up your digestion and blow up your chest. Every time you feel any negative emotion, know that it’s your body giving you a call-to-action.
And the emotion will disappear shortly after taken the right action. While if none is taken the feeling will remain and stack on top of the previous one and the one before that until finally you explode.
This said, next time you feel angry or sad. Ask yourself why and how you can fix the source of the emotion. Don’t just do nothing, always act on your emotions. At least acknowledge the feeling and evaluate whether taking action is worth it or not. But do not ignore the monster as it will get angrier and demand your attention even more.
Working on your self-esteem might be a long-term project and something that you can keep in mind while you go through the rest of this book. As well as when you go through the rest of your life and I tell you to go over this chapter several times to install everything. Well either that or get even more in depth information on how you can build your self-esteem. Since I kept it short because everyone doesn’t have the time to read several books on the topic like I did.
How can you start Teaching strategies to build self esteem to others?
Since Self esteem is build on integrity and self-trust the best way to help someone start building theirs would be to:
- Take care of your skeletons.
- Set and achieve goals.
- Start acknowledging yourself .
Take care of your skeletons
What I mean by this is: We all have problems, tasks and old projects we never finished or threw away. Projects that keep lying around waiting for us to once again pick them up and finish them. Problem with this is that we told ourselves we would finish up one day. Every day we don’t follow through and complete the task is a day where we lower our self-trust even more. Since We said we would do it but didn’t follow up.
Do you want to be one of those people who talks a big game but never follows through. Those people often lose the trust of others. In the same way you will lose your own trust. I know I didn’t wanna be like that anymore. I had to change.
Set and achieve goals
In the same way uncompleted tasks drag you down, achieved goals will bring you up. Every time you set out to do something and actually manage to do it, you build trust for yourself. In other words teaching strategies to build self esteem can be as simple as goal-setting for some.
Start acknowledging yourself
By this I mean that we often have a tendency of hiding our emotions because of the fear of what others will think. Since our emotions are a call-to-action system. Every time we don’t take action on those emotions we lose trust in ourselves. This is what is often referred to as bottled up emotion. And even though it might come inconvenient at times. Letting your emotions out is the way to go to build self-esteem.
Another very important thing to realise, if not the one most important thing is:
You must accept yourself as you are. With flaws and everything. The core of self-esteem lies within acceptance. If you believe that even as you are now, you are good enough. And the sooner you realise that details such as appearance or salary doesn’t really matter in the long run. It’s just a shallow illusion, what truly matters is happiness. I bet you’ve seen a happy person that wasn’t rich and beautiful so what’s stopping you from being good enough?
I hope this got you a better idea of how you can start teaching strategies to build self esteem to your family and friends. Teaching strategies to build self esteem can be difficult and it’s definitely a process that can be both time consuming and really tough to go through.