5 strategies to build confidence in yourself and others
Strategies to build confidence in yourself and others that I use both for myself and my clients. These are not strategies that I’ve come up with by myself. Rather strategies that I’ve found effective through trying every single one.
Confidence is trust in ones ability to manage a certain situation. The more certain you are that you can complete the task ahead the more confident you are. Sounds rather easy doesn’t it? And you’re right, confidence is a lot easier than most people make it out for.
So why are we confident at something then? We are certain that our level of skill is enough to complete it. In other words, we trust our ability to get us through safely. Or even to win or do a good job if we have a high level of confidence. So the question then remains, how can we get this level of trust or certainty in one of our abilities?
Confidence is like fear a physiological state. the way we move our bodies shape our emotions. In the same way do our emotions shape the way we move our bodies. Try to feel depressed and sad while grinning like never before. Keep your shoulders far back and gaze slightly upwards. I bet you can’t do it without changing your facial expression or posture.
It’s impossible to feel confident and powerful and scared and hate yourself simultaneously. Thus whenever you want to feel confident, move like you would if you already were. Move like you would if you were the hero of your favourite movie or the president. Try it out now. Notice how it makes you feel.
This is something you can apply to any other emotion as well. If you want to feel happy, move your muscles like you would if you were happy. If you want to be filled with energy move like you would if you were.
2. Reach goals
Have you ever reached a goal? I assume you have. Then you know how wonderful it feels, especially if it was a difficult goal for you to reach. Even short-term goals like daily goals will give you a sense of accomplishment.
Since confidence is all about your belief that you can accomplish tasks. Feeling accomplished from reaching goals will boost your confidence over time. If you keep setting and completing goals you will reach a higher level of confidence.
3. Ask better questions
I think Tim Ferriss is the one who said that “Thinking is just an act of asking and answering questions”. Where the questions are what controls the answers. Let me explain this further.
Our brain is designed to provide an answer to whatever question we ask ourselves. This means that if we ask questions where the answer will bring us down, we will feel bad. Whereas if we ask questions where the answer will strengthen us, we will feel good.
Because of this, you will want to ask yourself better questions. Asking “What can go wrong here?” Won’t empower the belief that success is a possibility. While asking something like “How can I succeed?” Will give you answers that will make you feel way better about yourself.
One way to make sure you create a level of trust in your ability is to create a thorough plan. What I mean is to zoom out and look at where you are vs where you want to be. Create a step by step plan for how to get there. And make sure you know what to do at every step of the journey.
It’s like when someone tells you what to do or when you are following a guide. All of a sudden you create a belief that it’s possible. It’s possible because someone will show you the way, step by step.
Learning or doing research is a great way to achieve confidence. Knowing more about how something is done. About potential mistakes and strategies that have worked for others. The more knowledge you have the more you can fool your mind that you can complete this task at hand.
Learning can also include watching others do the thing you want to do. Learning from others is one of the most potent and effective ways to learn anything. Like children learn to walk, talk and ride a bicycle. Through watching, failing and practice. With the right motivation, enough discipline and through never giving up, we can learn. And get good at anything. Including building our confidence or getting good at anything we lack confidence in.
There are several more ways through which you can develop confidence. But these are the 5 strategies to build confidence in yourself and others that worked the best for me.